I am so grateful that I shared the last post, although it was entirely too long for uninterested Infertility folks to read, but hopefully for those whose lives have been touched or effected by infertility, that was for you. (Actually, I know it has been read by many, my stat numbers went way up, I just hope it helped someone out there).
Thank you for all your kind words that were written, spoken and some left unspoken. It truly is amazing to feel the love and support of so many people out there. THANKS a million times!
Disclaimer: This is probably going to be a little long again, I try to condense, but I'm such a story teller, sorry. I intend to someday write a book...but probably not soon, and probably not ever, but I intend to.
Enjoy.
So part TWO, what is this part all about? It is actually the part where they try to get you pregnant! Yes, I say they, because it is a WHOLE group effort sometimes.
When we moved to North Dakota, we weren't exactly sure why we moved. We knew it was the right thing and we could see the positives but we definitely see a huge reason why we moved here now. My job is a state job and bless those state jobs for having wonderful insurance! We knew that this next step and the processess we would have to go through would not have even been an option had we not had this insurance. We were only obligated to pay 20% and thankfully that was in our budget.
So then began the many many trips to Fargo, North Dakota. Our first trip was on April 16 (which was actually to Bismarck at a Satellite office) where we met our Reproductive endocrinologist for the first time. Dr. D was awesome! She was very kind and helpful and by golly she was on the ball, these people mean business when they want to get you pregnant! I loved that! Because lets be real, most infertile couples have been trying for awhile and are super sick and tired of
waiting! So her nurse called us and scheduled us for the next InVitro Fertilization class. At this clinic it is required to take a 2 1/2 hour class to learn all about IVF and what you will be going through and how their clinic works.
So the first week of May we went to the class. It was kind of nice to sit in a room of 9 other infertile couples and feel comfort in knowing that I'm not the only person that has to do this and that the entire room was in the same boat as us. That was really nice. The nurses and staff teaching the class were very knowledgeable and we really learned a lot about IVF and some of the misconceptions. Like for example, the movies make it look like you have to take shots for like 6 months and then the process is a forever process but it's not true. Everything happened with in a 2-3 week period of time and it was quick! That's way better then the movies (silly dramatizations, infertility is drama enough, why do they have to make it look worse then it is?). So we began the scary but wonderful journey to actually have some success at getting pregnant. When I say Journey, I'm not kidding you. We had to travel 6 hours to get to the clinic and then 6 hours back home every time for all our appointments and treatment. I am a carsick type individual so let me tell you, that was fun! ;) We had to stay in hotel for about a week because they needed to see us every other day sometimes.
We all know how LONG winded I can be when I get talking so I will try my best to get to the point...So with IVF things have to be all timed nice and perfectly for you to be able to start the next scheduled cycle at the clinic. We weren't sure if my cycle would come or go when it was "scheduled" to. They have certain specifications and if you don't meet that, then you have to wait until the next round (the next month and they induce your period instead). We missed the deadline for June by two days (dang periods! sorry TMI) and I called the nurse, almost in tears, to tell her I was two days too late for starting when they wanted me too and that we wouldn't be able to do the June Cycle. She said, and I quote "Oh no, that's okay, we'll keep you on the June schedule, we'll just bump starting your meds a couple days, no big deal". I was elated!!!! That meant #1 we were able to start IVF for the June and #2 I would get to go home in July to see my whole family rather then do IVF the month of July. I was so happy. We decided to try June and see how it works or if it works and then go home for July, take a break and then try again in a few months once we've saved up some more money. I wasn't trying to be negative but I was trying to cope with the reality that it might not workt he first time and that hopefully we can do another round if this one doesn't take. There were a lot of factors though riding on June's IVF treatments. You see, we hoped to get more then just one Egg and then hopefully be able to fertilize those eggs and implant some of them and freeze some for later. BUT my worst fear was that I would not even ovulate and the medication would not even produce any eggs and then that meant my hopes were shot for good. Or that I would just get one egg and we would have to pay $15000 out of pocket to do this all over again because we didn't have any to freeze.
Well, that wasn't the case and all the prayers of many many loved ones were felt again. We started stimulation medication on June 1st (I had to give my self shots in the tummy, not as terrible as it sounds, totally worth it too). By June 11 my ovaries had been stimulated to the point where the doctors were ready to induce ovulation and let those puppies loose. You see, a woman had follicles on her ovaries and each follicle contains an egg. Once those follicles get to about 22-25 mm they release the egg. Well for your information 22-25 mm is about an Inch. I had 18 eggs! So that meant I had 18 inches of follices but I also had about 12 more that weren't mature enough to release eggs but were still about 15 mm (3/4 inch) So if you add that up, my ovaries were exploding with follicles! I felt like I ate Thanksgiving dinner every day. Normally a woman releases ONE egg each month from ONE follicle. These meds really did the trick. We were SO grateful. So they took my 18 mature eggs and they fertilized them with my husband's sperm. They were able to get 11 fertilized eggs, the other 7 didn't make it. Then of those 11, they watched them over the next 3 days and called me. The doc said she had 5 that looked REALLY good and they wanted to keep watching them until day 5. You see, IVF will transfer (implant) the embryos (not eggs anymore, because they are fertilized now) on day 3 or day 5. Success rates are much higher on day 5 transfers because that usually means the embryos are growing nicely and are dividing nicely and preparing to become babies. They gave us the option of day 3 or day 5, with day 5 though, they said it is likely we will lose some along the way. But we decided that if we could just get one or two good ones and have high hopes for getting pregnant THIS cycle then we wanted that. Day 3 would have given us many more to freeze but we might have to do more cycles. We chose day 5. We showed up on Day 5 and they prepared us for the transfer. They were very nice and the only uncomfortable thing is you have to have a full bladder so your uterus is laying down flat (didn't know a bladder does that to a uterus? well now you do!)
The doctor came in a showed us the embryos they had that had made it that far (on paper of course), there appeared to be about 8, but what she showed us was a grade A, number 1 embryo. She said it looked so good and she was so confident that she wanted to just transfer one embryo, that one. Originally the plan was two, just in case one didn't take. We talked a little more and she said that if we did two she was almost confident they would both take and that there is also the possibility that they could split. She said IVF embryos have a higher chance of splitting then just average embryos. We were slightly frightened, but in my heart I thought, 'if I get 4 babies that would be crazy but, heck, I can do it!' My husband was frightenend thinking "4 babies all at once!?" We said we were okay with the chance of multiples and that we wanted to still transfer two. I really didn't want to take a chance of one not taking and then be left with nothing. So she said okay and we signed the waiver and away we went. They are so very professional, about 5 nurses and the doctor were in the room to make sure they were transferring the "Hanson Embryos" and not the chinese couples' that were in just before us (haha). The doctor transferred them (details here unneccessary, use your imagination) and she said, "wow, that went absolutely perfectly" and "things are looking just perfect". I was a little unnerved hearing a doctor say perfect so many times, I mean come on, you have to leave room for error right? She did not. The doc said, "we've done all we can now, just have faith and be positive" as she patted me on the knee and left. So we left and prayed with all our being that they would take. Oh and they had 3 extra embryos to freeze. That was great news too (transferring frozen embryos in the future is a third the cost, much more doable).
They told us they would have me come in to have a blood pregnancy test in about 11 days. Did I say this process was quick or what? I was like, "serious? that soon?" geez! I was not prepared for that day. I was going to girls camp (for our church) that week and would have to leave camp for a couple hours to go to Bismarck for the blood test. My husband wasn't going to be at camp with me so on the Sunday before I left, I had a total breakdown. I cried and cried and said, what if it doesn't work and I'm all alone at girls camp crying...so I pre-cried and pre-mourned so he could hold me and I could handle it better when it happened. I tried to hope for the best, but when you've seen SO many negative pregnancy tests....another one is just, well, it's actually horrifying. I hate taking them.
I went to camp. It was a wonderful time. I drove to Bismarck on Wednesday, nervous as could be, but trying really hard to be positive (I had spotted the night before and was devastated at what that might mean).
They drew my blood, I grabbed breakfast and drove back to camp (bawling again the whole way there, in preparation for bad news so that when I got the news I wouldn't look like a total wreck to the girls there).
I was waiting for the girls to finish their classes and was just hanging out by myself at the campground when my phone rang. We don't get hardly any cell service down there so I was shocked when it rang (probably a gift from above). I looked and it was a Fargo, ND phone number. My heart sunk, "already? They had the results?" I answered it and the nurse on the other line said she couldn't hear me well, I walked around until I found a good spot and probably looked really funny as I was bent over sideways not moving an inch. She said...."So, Are you ready for some good news?" WHAAAA? Did she just say what I think she said???? I think I said, "No I mean Yes, no way?" She said, "We consider anything over 2 for HcG levels to be pregnant and you are 164?" I was half crying have smiling and said, "Are you serious? Not possible??" She laughed and said, "You are definitely pregnant!" I could hear all the nurses in the background squeeling and cheering, I was on cloud 9. I honestly couldn't believe it, so I called my husband. Mind you I'm still standing in the half bent over position so I can get service to talk to him. Do you know how hard it was to not jump up and down and spin around...I couldn't or I would have lost service. So I called him and told him exactly what the nurse said and he was so excited, he started asking me what that meant and I said I have no idea, but it means I'm definitely pregnant. It was absolutely amazing!
So here we are now, I'm 8 weeks pregnant. I know what some of you might be thinking...kind of early to be sharing the news? Well, I contemplated this announcement and decided that if I only get to be pregnant for the frightening 10-12 weeks (when they say things are still iffy but after 12 weeks things are alot more positive) then I want to be excited with those I love. I want to enjoy these moments where I am sick from the second I wake up until about 4:00 in the afternoon and find joy in this journey. It is truly a journey. I'm not out of the woods, any number of things could go wrong, but for now, I'm thrilled to announce that we are pregnant! We heard the heart beats...oh yeah....there are TWO in there! The one picture is not an Alien, it is our TWO babies. (and I had to put it second or else the little picture would pop up and give away my whole post) Babies AA and BB! And the first picture has my two neices in it, polar opposites and possible what my two babes could look like...nothing alike! but cute as could be! :) Boy and girl, Girl and girl or Boy and boy! We shall see!
We are due on March 6, 2013 and I'm guessing probably sooner because it's twins. I hope and pray that these little pea size babies will be healthy and grow to full term and beyond. I know it's real now because I feel sick all the time and that's definitely not normal, amongst other strange pregnancy feelings, but now I just want to get them here safe and sound. That's the next step. Of course if it doesn't work out for us to carry these babies much longer, you will hear because this is my journey and this is how I have to get my children. It could mean a number of things. Right now, we just pray that they will be a full term pregnancy with a healthy delivery and grow up to be strong amazing children!
Thanks for reading!
